Thothblog

Mysterious, evasive, alluring.  These are all fun things.  I get it, I get the idea of mystery and suspense.  I understand not wanting to be an open book, to hold certain things back about oneself.  I also sympathize with those who are just private people and don’t like talking about themselves.  I fall into that category a little bit myself.  These things are ok.  To be evasive when it comes to oneself or private affairs I totally get that.

This entry is not for those people.  This entry is for those people who wouldn’t know their ass from a appropriate answer.  Are certain professions taught to abandon logical dialogue and reason and just monkey crap out answers that have no purpose.  Or worse yet those who cannot commit to single answer.

This day has been riddled with people who absolutely refuse to answer a question.  All business related of course, so getting a damn thing done went out the window long before lunch.  First up, a lovely chat with my doctor’s office regarding a bill.  I received a call from them requesting an update on payment status.  Ergo I called to update them that the status was it was going back to my insurance carrier because the hospital in question made a billing mistake.  This woman I spoke to takes it upon herself to attempt to fix the problem….well, really to attempt to piss me off.  Mission accomplished!  Below is a synopsis

“Hi, I am calling to update my status on this billing situation, it is going back to the insurance.”

“Sir can you please verify 18 pieces of information for me…”

(5 minutes later)”Ok, so there is your update”

“Sir let me see if we can figure this out, I am pulling up your itemized bill now.”

“Really, cause when I called 6 weeks ago, they couldn’t pull up the bill and had to send it to me, which I only just received”

“Yes I see this is about to go to collections, can we set up a payment plan?”

“How did we get here, the bill is going back to insurance.”

“Sir, I am not going to argue with you, the charges you are arguing are appropriate.  We need to set up a payment plan.”

“I haven’t even told you what charges I am contesting.”

“Very good sir, what are the charges you are contesting?”

“The physician consultations, these never happened.”

“Sir, the charges are appropriate, they wrote reports, when would you like to start the payment plan.”

“I have never seen these reports and neither has my doctor, can I get a copy of these.”

“Sir you can request a copy of each report (there are 2), there will be a 17.95 fee for each report.”

“Of course they are…. I think I will just deal with my insurance company, thanks.”

However, the simple little question that drove me over the line, came from non other than a lawyer.  No, don’t get me wrong, lawyers I assume serve a useful purpose (one I have as yet to identify).  However, these people are masters at complicating every single thing they touch.  Now due to confidentialy I can’t post the exact wordage but here is the break down:

I send an email to a lawyer who routinely does work for us.  The email explain a brief situation involving a friend and ends with the question, do you know someone in Adam’s County DA office?  I would have been happy with a yes or a no.  Instead I get a 2 paragraph email back about how people should hire lawyers and this situation requires a lawyer…. blah blah blah.  So I am thinking, maybe he just got confused it happens.  So I send another email, very brief saying that all makes sense, do you know a deputy DA my friend can call?  This is a simple f$#@ing question.

Here is the response:  Unfortunately no DA, friendly or otherwise is going to talk to me about your friend’s daughters case if I am not representing her.

What does that have to do with anything?!  Maybe I should get thai food tonight, but getting back to the question, DO YOU KNOW A DEPUTY DA IN ADAM’S COUNTY?!

Do you think we could all come together and agree that in every day life if we are poised with simple questions we can just answer them.  I am sitting here sans info because a guy paid to litigate in front of people, to represent people in a court of law is having trouble with a 9 word question!!!  I am reminded of King of the Hill:  Hank to Bobby: “An F in English, damnit Bobby, you speak English.”

People who cannot answer questions, your chops have been BUSTED!

The fun thing about meeting new people is awlays getting to take a run at the activites of learning about the other person.  I like to think of this as a very complex duck and weave routine sure to mentally stimulate oneself and hopefully the other person.  My own personal approach to this is one of subtlety and diversion unless of course the new person is a possible romantic acquisition.  Now, I know what you are thinking, acquisition is such a harsh word to use but lets not dwell on that for the purposes of the conversation.  Now, when not using subtlety or diversion, I like to employ a strafing tactic similar to WWII fighter planes.  I attempt a barrage of questions with the end goal of providing multiple avenues for which to generate conversation.  Of course, I am assuming that an audible connection has been made, which really can be the difficult part when it comes to romance.

Some guys prefer the barrage of personal information when conversing with the ladies, but I work on the notion that as little information about me, the better.  Not because it isn’t interesting mind you, but when the talking begins, the brain can get in the way.  However, all this supporting information leads to the story of the evening…or early morning depending on where one is.

Recently I was speaking with a young woman and we were exchanging various quips and participating in the sharing of banter, when somehow the topic turned to werewolves.  I don’t even remember how we got on the subject and the conversation previous had not been nerdy(by not nerdy, I mean the usual level of nerdiness, I feel I was doing quite well).  Anyway, as the topic roled on I inquired jokingly about how her chosen profession’s outlook on werewolves in general.  This could have generated a number of responses, and right after making the joke it was one of those that I thought, might have been better if we had just kept that on in the vault.  Sadly, vault was open and it was time to receive whatever response  was coming.

This is where those breaths of fresh air come in.  The unexpected surprises that jump up and bite ya, not hard, but a playful bite that makes you site up and take notice.  In this case, the playful bite was the response I received from this young woman.  She said that it would be unfair for her to answer objectively because being a werewolf herself, it colored her view.  Its important to understand the timing of the response, this came without missing a single beat in the conversation.  As if I had asked someone if they were going to work today and the person had responded naturally with a yes.

SIDE NOTE - Speaking of work, this whole people getting off tomorrow, Jan. 19th.  What is that about?  Many people had been discussing their 3 day weekends, and I though, what the hell, what 3 day weekend?!

So this answer came out and it was most impressive how she rolled with the joke and returned it right back.  If this were a tennis match I would have just served the hardest serve of my career and watched impressively as it was easily returned to the  other side of the court.  Brilliant!  That however is how one answers a question.

In other news, I would suggest stopping by Felicia day’s blog as she has unveiled the new look and feel, and it is a more mature and sophisticated version of her website, which was once airy and playful.  The new look is very nice.  Also, run by XKCD as the newest comic is a play on a very old joke but definitely a funny twist.

Finally special thanks to Wil, even though he is exiled, he had this nugget of awesomeness in one of his latest blogs.  Gnome Stew , click on it, you know you want to!